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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27283633">i'm only real when you dream of me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/7daysoftorture/pseuds/wingsoutforshin'>wingsoutforshin (7daysoftorture)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sick!Kakashi, Sickfic, but not really bc their situation sucks, chakra depletion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:01:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,693</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27283633</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/7daysoftorture/pseuds/wingsoutforshin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In a universe where Obito loved Rin and Kakashi in equal measure, everything is mostly the same - except where it isn't.</p><p>But this fic isn't about that. This fic is about Kakashi's chakra depletion, and Obito, who can't seem to leave him alone even though he's supposed to be hiding the fact that he's alive at all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>183</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'm only real when you dream of me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is not a fluffy piece, but it's not too angsty either, i think.<br/>i mostly just wrote for my own indulgence because I liked the idea of them interacting in a semi-canon universe before the war but i also didn't want to change their canon storylines too much !<br/>hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Obito's been following Kakashi's exhausted back for close to an hour when the other finally collapses belly down against the side of a tree. The sight is enough to freeze him in his tracks, and almost against his will he finds his legs taking him down the high branch he's on and over to where Kakashi is lying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obito crouches by his side and carefully turns him over to inspect his body for injuries. When he pulls away the torn layer of Kakashi's jacket, he's greeted with mild burns and cuts across pale skin, but nothing severe enough to need immediate treatment - that fact alone would calm the thrumming in his veins if it were anyone else, but Obito knows Kakashi’s biggest weakness aren't flesh wounds - it’s his chakra. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the use of being a genius if you collapse after minimum chakra use,” he grumbles under his breath, pulling back the ripped sleeve of Kakashi’s undershirt to check his pulse. It’s racing, and that could be attributed to the fact that he’d been running until just now except for the fact that his skin is hot, unusually so. Obito places a hand on his forehead and winces at the feverish heat that meets his palm. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That can’t be good.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows Kakashi’s chakra had been running low, he’d been holding back on his attacks towards the end of the fight and then he’d straight up taken off running rather than staying behind to deal with the new group of chuunin that had shown up to help the jounin he’d defeated. Obito had watched the whole thing from a safe distance, growing increasingly restless the longer it went on. The entire situation is to blame on Kakashi’s spineless teammates, who decided to send him ahead to check their path and didn’t bother to show up when he was jumped by an enemy team. Useless konoha ninjas, he thinks with disdain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can feel Kakashi’s chakra thrumming just below the surface, so weak and faint that it’s barely there at all. Something drops low and heavy in his stomach, a reminder that nothing is permanent, that his precious things could be taken away oh-so-easily if he doesn’t take care of them. He lets out a distressed sigh, running a hand through Kakashi’s sweaty hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, wake up, you idiot. You can’t die from something this stupid, you hear me?” He shakes him gently by the shoulder, and when that incites no reaction, his movements turn forceful, worry digging itself a home in his chest. “Hey, Bakashi, wake the fuck up!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loud,” Kakashi mumbles around a pained moan, and Obito feels his lungs expand with relief, watching as he stirs awake, eyes fluttering weakly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He carefully props Kakashi up against the tree at his back and crouches by his side as he slowly comes to his senses, head lolling forward and to the side in a drunken fashion. Despite being awake now, he doesn’t seem to be too aware of his surroundings, his brows furrowed in confusion as he stares blankly at the dirt beneath him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just the thought of leaving him behind while he’s lying here, completely defenseless, makes Obito’s stomach turn unpleasantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you with me?” He asks, and Kakashi’s head tilts back as he looks up at him with dazed, unfocused eyes. It’s been years since he’s looked at Obito straight on like this, and feeling those eyes on him, even when one of them belongs to himself, sends a shiver all the way down Obito’s spine. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Kakashi frowns, eyes narrowing. “Obito?” He asks, words slurred.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obito freezes in place, shards of ice prickling the insides of his lungs. In all his panic, he'd completely forgotten he's not wearing his mask.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You absolute idiot, </span>
  </em>
  <span>someone that sounds suspiciously like Zetsu screams in the back of his head. And they're right, it's a rookie mistake, and it makes something bitter curl in his chest, adding to the ball of anxiety that's been slowly forming ever since Kakashi got ambushed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, trying to salvage the situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel weird,” Kakashi moans, ignoring his words. He lifts a hand to his face and pulls down his mask, effortlessly sending Obito’s heart into overdrive - because, uh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> what he’s been hiding this whole time? A fucking pretty face? Unbelievable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a fever,” Obito tells him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Kakashi breathes, eyes rolling to the side and then back up to Obito’s face. “Is that why you’re here? Am I dreaming you up?” He makes an aborted movement with his hand. “Makes sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obito swallows around the sudden knot in his throat, averting his eyes. “Does that happen often?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Kakashi says, matter-of-factly. He scrunches up his nose. “You usually look just like when I last saw you, though.” He pauses and shakes his head. "No, no, not then. Before, when you were still whole." A miserable expression falls over his face at that and he looks down, eyebrows twisting in agony. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, hey, don’t do that,” Obito pleads, guilt wrapping around his throat like a snake, unforgiving. “I’m totally fine, see?” He spreads his arms wide, attempting to show how alive and very much not dead he is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi doesn’t even bother to look up at him. "You’re not real.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He starts tilting to the side, eyelids falling closed for a long moment and then slowly blinking open again, as if weighted down by something. Obito lunges forward to catch him when the tilt turns into a full sideways fall, and sighs in relief when Kakashi drowsily looks up at him through long white lashes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," he says, as Obito carefully props him back up against the tree's bark. "You're warm." The words are whispered with an air of revelation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess," Obito says, confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi, looking at him with something akin to wonder, slowly brings a shaky hand up to his cheek, bare fingers touching the mangled skin there. Obito flinches but doesn't pull away, watching as the other traces the ridged edges of his scar, and then continues on to the rest of his face, over his mouth and nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some of the fog has cleared from his eyes when Kakashi meets Obito's gaze again. "No." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And what does that </span>
  <em>
    <span>mean</span>
  </em>
  <span>? A single '</span>
  <em>
    <span>no', </span>
  </em>
  <span>spoken with such grief and devastation that it feels like a kick to the gut. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, </span>
  </em>
  <span>what? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, you can't be alive? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, you can't be here?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But we </span>
  <em>
    <span>left </span>
  </em>
  <span>you," is what ends up following the word, and the pain that fills that single sentence is immeasurable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi is looking at him as if he couldn't imagine anything worse. As if just the thought that Obito has been alive all these years is enough to crack him into a million pieces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His face scrunches up into something Obito doesn't recognize - wrecked, destroyed. And then, from the corner of Kakashi's shiny red lined eyes, tears start dripping, sliding down his bare cheeks to soak the bottom of his mask. Obito watches, transfixed - unable to look away but feeling his heart squeeze painfully in his chest at the sight.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought you'd be happy," he admits quietly, lifting a hand to wipe away the wetness on Kakashi's face, as if that can somehow clear away the pain he's caused. (Of course it can't, the damage is irreparable.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How could I?" Kakashi asks, as if such a thing is unthinkable. "We </span>
  <em>
    <span>left </span>
  </em>
  <span>you there," his voice cracks on the last word and his nose wrinkles as a fresh new wave of tears comes running down his cheeks. He's a silent crier, Obito notices distantly. How many times had he cried, as Obito sat outside his window, unknown and unknowing? The thought alone is enough to make him want to cry himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You couldn't have known," Obito says, trying to appease him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Kakashi isn't listening anymore, eyes once again clouded as he dazedly stares past Obito's shoulder at something far off in the distance. Obito curses and brings a hand to his forehead, feeling the burning skin there with no small amounts of trepidation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We need to lower your temperature," he says, mostly to himself, and picks him up in a swift motion, pressing Kakashi's face to the crook of his neck. The lack of reaction to the manhandling only serves to deepen his concern and quicken his steps. He's not a medic-nin, has never known much about their practices aside from the few things he'd observed from Rin back when they were kids, but even he knows that this kind of fever brought delirium can't be a good thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembers countless stories about ninjas who'd died during the war, not from injuries suffered at the enemies' hands but overuse of their own chakra. Obito has never had that problem, has always had large reserves of chakra to aid him whenever he needed, but Kakashi is another story, he's one of those people that would much quicker die from that sort of thing than from a lucky hit by the adversary. It's infuriating. It's terrifying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It says less about his speed and more about his desperation how quick he manages to reach the small stream that runs a few miles from where they were. He lays Kakashi on the grass right by the water and makes quick work of wetting a piece of torn fabric from his own shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's tiring work, emotionally, but he spends the rest of the evening like that, wetting the piece of cloth, resting it on Kakashi's forehead, and checking for any changes, small as they might be. When the rag starts turning the same temperature as Kakashi's skin, he wets it again, and so on, and so on. He never thought he'd be playing medic like this, had always relied on Kakashi's teammates to come to his rescue if the man ever got hurt in any way; but of course that couldn't last forever, of course this would happen eventually. He always knew he wouldn't be able to just stand on the sidelines if Kakashi was ever in serious danger, but for some reason he'd thought he'd be able to put off intervening for the foreseeable future. He was too naive. Or maybe it was wishful thinking on his part, that Kakashi would remain safe forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After what feels like an eternity of repeated motions, Kakashi begins to stir, eyebrows furrowing together and lips pulling into a pained grimace. He lets out a quiet sound and his eyes flutter weakly, a sliver of gray catching onto Obito's gaze for a moment before disappearing again behind closed eyelids. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's cold," he mumbles, a shiver visibly running down the entirety of his body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obito frowns, bringing a hand to his cheek. The skin is still hot, the fever unrelenting, but he supposes normal fevers bring with them the chill of a body trying to reset its internal temperature, so it's only natural that this would happen. Maybe it's a good sign, even, maybe it means his body is fighting off the fever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(He finds himself suddenly wishing he'd paid more attention to Rin's work rather than Rin herself, he'd probably be better equipped to deal with this if he had.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's cold," Kakashi says again. He turns on his side, body facing Obito, and grabs at the fabric of Obito's pants, seeking warmth. "Hey, you," he says, but doesn't finish the sentence, either falling back asleep or passing out - Obito doesn't know which is most likely at this point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watches as more shivers rake Kakashi's body, leaving him trembling and pitifully gritting his teeth.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This better actually do something," he says, after a long moment of consideration, and crawls over to the other side of him to lie at his back. Carefully, he places his arm around Kakashi's middle and pulls him against his front until their bodies are pressed together in an embrace. Hopefully, Obito's warmth is enough to work as a blanket - he's always run hotter than most, though he's not sure that will make much of a difference here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a few minutes, long enough that he starts doubting the wisdom of his own actions, but finally the shivers seem to subside. Obito doesn't know if the </span>
  <em>
    <span>cuddling</span>
  </em>
  <span> actually helped or if this was just how the fever would have run its course either way, but he can't help but feel glad that at least something seems to have gone his way today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stays like that, lying on his side pressed against Kakashi's back, for what must be the next five hours. He shifts occasionally, making them both more comfortable, but lying on grass can only really allow for some fitful sleep, and he ends up spending most of the night wide eyed, staring at the back of Kakashi's head and wondering why his life has come to this - taking care of his chakra depleted friend who didn't even know he was alive until now and looks at him like his continued existence shakes the foundations of the world and breaks apart his reality in a way that shouldn't be possible. (At least Kakashi seems to be too out of it to notice the discomfort of their resting place.) </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi's fever must break sometime in the night, because when the first few rays of sun start peeking between the trees and Obito gets up to check his temperature, his forehead is no longer hot to the touch and his hair is pasted together in a way that suggests dried sweat. It's the best news he's had in a while, and it makes his heart soar with relief for the time it takes him to realize that, </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>, this means he has to leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because of course he can't stay. He couldn't, before, but now that he's seen Kakashi's reaction to seeing him, alive and solid, his previous resolve has only been fortified. He's caused him enough pain, he can't add to it anymore. It'd break Kakashi's heart all over again, knowing Obito was left behind while they moved on with their lives, unknowing, and Obito can only deal with seeing him cry so many times before he breaks down himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's for the best, he tells himself as he meticulously gets rid of any evidence of his presence. If Kakashi knew, he'd only be grieved even further. Obito is doing what's best for both of them. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>is. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>And maybe he's a coward, deep down. Maybe he doesn't want to face the consequences of his actions. Maybe he's afraid that his presence will only bring tragedy; that revealing himself will open his heart up to pain all over again and he isn't sure he could survive it this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he's set in his ways, and he's determined to see his plans through, so he jumps up onto one of the trees overlooking the stream, hiding his presence, and stays firm and quiet as he watches, minutes later, Kakashi waking up and looking around himself with an air of someone who doesn't remember how or when they got there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His chest feels hollowed out, like a physical ache he can't shake off, but this is what he does, and this is where he stays. He is alone, as always, and so is Kakashi, again. It's a terrible fate for them both, but Obito chooses to keep walking this same path, after everything, because he doesn't know what else to do, because it's ingrained in him at this point: wanting change, wanting what can't be anymore, wanting better. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He just wants </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>better</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They deserve it, and they deserved it even more, long ago, when they were still innocent and untainted, before the war and the blood wrecked everything they once knew. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So this is his fate, this is his future. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he'll get it for them, no matter what, because he loves Kakashi and he loved Rin, and he hates this world where none of them can be together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He despises it with a force that no other emotion could ever overtake in his heart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>END. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i like to imagine in the future after the war obito lives and they live happily ever after :) this is more like a missing scene than anything else, tho it's also an AU bc obito is in love with kakashi in this one hah..</p><p>comments and kudos are very much appreciated! hope you enjoyed !</p></blockquote></div></div>
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